I sometimes say that just because I have a vagina doesn’t mean I’m a girl/woman.

For those who don’t understand how this could make any sense, here’s a nice little basic video, to introduce you to the world outside the gender norm:

Genderqueer or gender non-conforming: A person who does not identify as a man or woman.
- video above: Transgender Basics – Gender Identity Project

“Third gender or third sex refer to a gender category, of people who are considered neither completely male, nor completely female. It is a gender identity separate from ‘men’ and ‘women,’ of people considered to be the intermediate sex; in-betweens (like the androgynes) or neutrals (like the agendered).

Although contemporary connotations often confuse ‘third gender’ with hermaphrodites, biological hermaphrodites actually comprise a very small percentage of the third genders. Biologically speaking, a hermaphrodite is a person who has both male and female sex organs. However, gender identity is psychological and societal as well as physical, explaining why the majority of individuals who occupy the third gender are physically either male or female, not both.”
- wikipedia article: Third Gender

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Marriage is not the only worthy form of family or relationship, and it should not be legally and economically privileged above all others. A majority of people – whatever their sexual and gender identities – do not live in traditional nuclear families. They stand to gain from alternative forms of household recognition beyond one-size-fits-all marriage. For example:

· Single parent households

· Senior citizens living together and serving as each other’s caregivers (think Golden Girls)

· Blended and extended families

· Children being raised in multiple households or by unmarried parents

· Adult children living with and caring for their parents

· Senior citizens who are the primary caregivers to their grandchildren or other relatives

· Close friends or siblings living in non-conjugal relationships and serving as each other’s primary support and caregivers

· Households in which there is more than one conjugal partner

· Care-giving relationships that provide support to those living with extended illness such as HIV/AIDS.

- Beyond Marriage

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I seriously related to that! People often dismiss what younger ones say, simply because of their age. That is one BIG prejudice, it’s Ageism (discrimination against people based on age). Only instead of being directed at the elder here, it’s aimed at the youngest.

Most think that experience is what counts, and those who have less of it know nothing, or at least, know less than them.

Age has nothing to do with common sense. (And this is true for looks as well.)

It’s not the experience that counts, it is what you learn from it! You can gather a mountain load of it and still have learnt little.

Wise words can come out of anyone, regardless of their age. Hell, even unwise words can come out of anyone, elder people can say the biggest monstrosities and spit out bad advice.

Knowledge doesn’t, automatically, equal wisdom. It’s what you do with it and how you apply it, learning from it in the process.

Of course that, someone who learns from experience from a young age, that will continue to grow as they age. But not everyone absorbs life’s lessons at the same speed throughout life and some only start to really learn later in their life.

Often time, people don’t even listen to what I say. But then, sometimes when someone does listen, they are surprised. And that’s really annoying! The fact that I look younger aggravates that feeling even further. I’m 26 right now and older people often confuse me with a teen. Frustration! What’s worse is, they think it’s great that I look younger, because you know, for a female being young or looking young is something to aspire as opposed to looking “older” is just plain ugly and must be avoided at all costs! I could go on, but this is another topic!

I would much more rather look my age and be heard!

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Dr. Bayard is no more. I believe it’s biggest flaw was lack of commitment by it’s members. They were close friends of mine.

The only gig they played was under a different name, before deciding on the final name. They were the “Shup Up And Play Yer Guitar”.

Dr. Bayard barely lasted a whole year (2006-2007) but, for some reason, it still remains an epic moment to us, like a friendly ghost. In fact, the band never really took off even though their sound had potential. We named the band after cough drops! :) It was winter.

But Dr. Bayard is nothing but a phantom now. It lingers in our memories.

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“Some days I’d tell my mom that I just wasn’t ready for marriage but she told me that I should think about it more. After a few months, the guy’s family called and told me that I had to make up my mind. They said “Marry him or risk never being married.” I was so frustrated at the amount of pressure they were putting on me. I began praying to see what God wanted and what was best. I spoke to a Mullah about the situation. He told me that it would be in my best interest to marry the guy and it would make my parents as well as God happy with me.”

- Part 1: At seventeen I was engaged to a man I had never met.

“I realized after too damn long that women are not created to be there for men. We are not created to satisfy their sexual needs regardless of what some assholes may think. Women were not created to make a man feel important. Women were created because we’re just as fucking important as men are. It killed me inside. It really did. I hated everything I had become and everything that I had done to make him happy.”

- Part 2: Trouble in Paradise.

“I am not against all forms of arranged marriage. I don’t know if my marriage can even be called arranged because I did agree to it. But I am against women not having the same rights as men. I am against women being forced to marry. I am against women not being able to get a divorce unless they go to hell and back but a man with the snap of his fingers can get divorced.”

- Part 3: Girls don’t run.

This is a reality not many realise exists. I know a lot of uninformed people who would probably dismiss it as fiction.

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Are you locked up in a world that’s been planned out for you?
Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?
Scream at me until my ears bleed.
I’m taking heed in just for you.

(She, by Green Day)

Endlessly looking for a purpose.

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Yet another college assignment I forgot to post. This one was a group effort. Finished early July.

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barcelona, August 1 2010

I must say upfront that I didn’t fell in love with the city. Barcelona in itself wasn’t inspiring to me. I kinda felt too much like home with different nuances. But the art and attention give to it by it’s habitants is definitely worthy of praise.

Although, I must admit that my trip had a rocky start, and the less pleasant experience might have had a negative impact on my feelings for the place.

Making it short: I went with a friend whom on the first night got sick. On the second night we visited the hospital, then the next morning we rushed to the airport and got her on a plain home. Bummer. I was a bit shaken for a moment there, but life goes on and I had 3 more days ahead to “enjoy” Barcelona.

First day alone I just wandered the streets. On La Rambla street, found the Centro de Arte Santa Mónica (Santa Monica’s Art Center) with an impressive exhibition of illustrations by Pat Andrea base on Alice in Wonderland.

The next day I went to the Sagrada Familia, and most people will kill me for saying this, but I wasn’t remotely inspired by it. I do think it’s a great masterpiece, but I enjoy it much more in the books looking at it’s details up close instead. Maybe it was all the people there, maybe it was all the cranes and construction things.

Then, Park Guell. Again, great art but crowded place. (My dislike for crowds should be clear by now.) But I’ll take the blame for going to these places on a Saturday! I imagine it wouldn’t be so bad on a weekday.

Later the same day I found CaixaForum with 2 amazing exhibitions, the first by plastic artist Miguel Barcelo and the second by photographer Jacques Henri Lartigue. I absolutely adored these.

Nearby was the Font Magica (Magic Fountain) which makes for a nice beautiful show of synced music, lights and water.

The last day, I decided to go up the Montjuic (got a little nice sunburn on my shoulders). The castle at the top, not worth the sunburn, pretty disappointing as I’ve seen similar and better ones back home. Downhill were some nice gardens and the Museu Nacional d’Art de Catalunya (National Museum of Catalonia Art) was a pretty building.

Down to the ports and the populated beaches, I reached a park and my legs were done.

Overall, I did enjoy Barcelona. It’s a great city. I just didn’t got overly excited by it’s landmarks. I prefer other smaller details.

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I just began reading the “Beauty Myth” by Naomi Wolf. Just now as I closed it for a bit and turned to television for a bit, I caught “What Not To Wear” (ep 250) and suddenly I finally (fully) understand why the self-esteem of the people that go there seems to improve dramatically!

It’s interesting how the woman on this show even brought up the word value. She finally has the self-esteem that lets her value herself, therefore her clothes should reflect value as well. This points directly at what the book discusses, a woman’s self-worth being intertwined with her appearance.

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Yet another assignment for college. This one’s about our memories, the spaces we remember from when we were kids.

Forgot to post this back in May…

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(image by me)

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
No, nothing else will do
I’ve gotta have you, I’ve gotta have you.

The Weepies – Gotta Have You

I’m just mostly bored. It’s kinda meh not having someone to think about while listening to these kind of songs. It’s like being nostalgic for something completely abstract.

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