photo by Shyald

Have you ever been a in a really good mood, feeling positive and optimistic about yourself, your life and your decisions, only to be brought down by someone else? Someone whom you expected to share it with, only to have them kill it for you.

Sometimes it feels like taking a beating from someone who’s on a negative state of mind. As if they won’t let go until they convince you of a less positive side. Even if you know it’s stupid to ever listen to it, just their attitude brings you down.

Remember one important thing, those are this person’s fears and insecurities. You don’t have to be contaminated by them! Just become aware that wherever this person is coming from, is purely from their own limitations and attachments.

It sounds so simple, but most of the time we just don’t realize it.
I used to get so frustrated when someone did that. It always felt like discouragement! It made me extremely upset! Specially when it came from people close to me, such as family or friends. Was a little support too much to ask?

But it’s hard for someone to share our enthusiasm when it’s something that taps into their fears and insecurities. And now it doesn’t get to me that much anymore.

For me, it was vital to understand this. Awareness is key!

Another small thing I became aware is, sometimes we state certain things when offering advice, which in reality are only the product of ourselves trying to reassure our own choices and actions. I realized I did this, so obviously, other people most likely do it as well! And after knowing this, I noticed how some things I was told were only justifying something for this person.

Once you’re aware of something, you eyes start to open up to it all around you.

Here’s something Slade Roberson said in an article that caught my eye:

Don’t begin sentences with “You should…” or “You need to…” Or, God forbid, “You know what your problem is…” *Note: Anyone who speaks to you in this manner is trying to control you.

GOLD! I’m sure we all have heard these before, and said it as well! It’s great to also evaluate ourselves and our own actions, so we can try to change them. And being able to spot what others are unknowingly doing, can give you a whole new perspective on how to deal with it.

The more we understand the why and motivations, the more comfortable we get when encountering these type of things.

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