photo by cambiodefractal
Remember that kind of person you either try to tolerate or simply ignore? Someone who’s behavior is inappropriate or painfully annoying. We usually tend to ignore those people who we don’t know and to tolerate those we do know.
But what good comes out of tolerating them? If it’s someone we know, most often we don’t want to be rude and just put up with it until it drives us crazy. That can’t be good! And believe me I’ve been there quite a few times.
Ever since I was a small kid I get this from friends. And guess that’s why I never seemed to have a fixed set of them. I always rotated best friends! Once I even seemed to have detected a time frame of about 3 years to reach my limit. I know, this was bad!
But I supposed I wanted to please and didn’t wanted any possible conflict. So I would put up with certain things that eventually would escalate until I couldn’t stand it anymore. And this would lead to a friendship break-up. And then on to the next doomed friendship!
Initially we brush it off, then it slowly crawls into under our skin and it starts to tick us off. After a while we can be dreading this person beyond repair.
Tolerating someone’s annoying or inappropriate behavior will only prolong it and eventually possibly escalate. Waiting around for the person to realize what they’re doing wrong, most likely than ever, it won’t happen!
Make sure to point it out, get their attention on what it is that bothers you and take some time to explain it to them. Tell them how it makes you feel, because otherwise don’t won’t understand what the big deal is.
And, please, simply claiming something like “normal people don’t do that” or whatever, won’t help. This person needs to understand why it is wrong to do what they do, how it affects you. Try to give them something they can empathize with and see it from your angle.
It might work, it might help, but don’t expect miracles. Some people will get it, others won’t.
Don’t shy away from it and don’t think it makes you vulnerable. It will hopefully save you some headaches, it’s all in your best interest! And the sooner you detect it and act on it, the better!
If this is someone you don’t necessarily need to endure, like a co-worker or something alike, there’s no point in insisting, just let it go if it doesn’t improve into a comfortable level.
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| [ tags ] well-being |
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