It’s a new year all over gain. It’s the beginning of one more cycle of our continuity.

Resolutions aside, what’s the best way of starting it? Dates and events will be repeated, seasons will replay and we’re still the same. It’s up to ourselves to provoke change where it want it. Little adjustments to our attitude might go a long way.

The new year can be exciting if you look at it as new opportunities that will rise where you can to shine through. Or it can be a dreadful feeling of deja vu where you expect nothing new to come of it and feel trapped in a loop.

Like someone once told me, we need only to resign ourselves of the past. You only can’t change what has already passed. Everything else deserves a fighting change. Don’t limit yourself. Don’t resign yourself to an endless loop.

All your power lies in your attitude. The way you face the world around you is more powerful than might you think. It affects everything. You change the way you see yourself, the way you deal with others change, the way others respond to you changes, opportunities change.

At first it might hard to shift to a more positive approach. Just remember, whatever your insecurities are, others have them too. Everybody is flawed. It all comes down to how we deal with it and if we let it overpower us. Everyone has value, so let others see you.

Don’t be afraid and embrace who you are. Polish your positive side and don’t obsess over the negative. Focus on what you want and how you’ll get it instead on what you can’t have!

Have a great year!

Awhile back there’s was a new classmate in my school who happened to from my hometown (rare thing). We started chatting, just really trying to know a little bit more about each other, and in the middle of it I asked her how old she was. She did tell me her age but she also said “I don’t think people’s age is a relevant thing to know”. At the time I just thought “I wasn’t going to discriminate you by your age”, but then I started to wonder, why did I ask about age? Why would that matter, or what would that reveal to me?

Just plain curiosity doesn’t quite answers it.

Age can be a point in common. If our age isn’t too far apart we can find common points in childhood memories, a childhood hero an important event or something else from that era. It gives you a lot of topics to explore with this person, specially when you’re getting to know one another. It can give you a faint idea of their background. Even when it’s someone who’s age is farther from ours, it still pin points an era which we might know something about, or not. It can sparkle questions.

Other than that, how relevant is it?

Will age hint on someone’s maturity? Absolutely no! There are kids whom can be more mature than some adults. Just because there’s a social expectation of a maturity level in accordance with certain ages, it doesn’t make it true.

When we are teenagers we think that we will change and become adults as we turn a certain age. Not so much turning 18, but I see the most reluctance about turning 20 or 21. That’s when we officially leave our teens behind and enter a whole new decade. The 20′ies it’s supposed to be when you get a job, move out, get married, and so on. But the year we were born doesn’t determine much, our personality does.

A lot of younger girls I see look older than me because they behave a certain way, and vice-versa. Even thought we associate these things with age, it’s has more to d with attitude and personality than age.

Sometimes these things can get to our head. I know it got to me when I turned 24 earlier this year. Where I thought I was supposed to be and where I actually was, were very different. And I was going crazy about it, feeling bad and a bit of a loser!

But that was ridiculous. Age shouldn’t matter, just like gender, ethnicity or whatever! We each have our own path, we aren’t supposed to be all serialized in the same stages at the same time.

Everyone always prejudges, that’s what first impressions are. But how accurate can these be when they’re mostly based on preconceptions and stereotyping? How often is it convenient for us to not question them?

I’m not going to talk about the big issues here, such as racism, xenophobia, homophobia and so on. No. I want to address something smaller that is often neglected, but just as important.

The other day I was once more commuting to school on the ferry, and something happened.

I was sitting there and I saw a man in a really casual and relaxed outfit, “vacation wear”. He had a laptop with him and was talking business on the cellphone. I related myself to that man in some kind of level, thinking how cool that he was so informal, and I wish that to myself. (I wont get into much detail on where he might have been going, because from here to Lisbon with no luggage and just a laptop, it’s mostly like work.)

So far so good, right? I related to it and thought it was awesome.

But then, I looked down to his shoes! I’ve always hated that type of shoe and what it is usually associated with. And the immediate thought was of complete rejection now! “You and I are nothing alike”, came to mind! And so, it hit me!

I just let a stereotype take huge proportions into a kind of prejudice, and it affected my first judgment of this man. How ridiculous!

And I started to wonder how many times we let this happen. How often do we let small things become such major factors on a first impression?

We all have different perceptions of the same things. We perceive different meanings or connotations for the same objects, ideas, and sometimes even words.

And the truth is, I never thought any less of anyone based on their status or social class, so I kinda felt immune to all the prejudging crap. But even though it wasn’t in the same nuance as most people, I do it as well in some level, I’m not immune.

I was amazed, how shoes being such an innocent thing to consider could take such an exaggerated proportion! It’s rather irrational. It’s like analyzing evidences out of context. We don’t know anything about the circumstances, we are looking at only a fragment of this person, and yet we are quick to judge. We make assumptions and are inclined to believe them, not give it the benefit of the doubt.

But right now I’m focusing most of my energies in school, so I can finish it by February. This is the most important goal right now. Then, I’ll have a whole semester free to dedicate myself to drawing.

In the meantime, I’ll keep it casual. And at the same time try to fight this pressure I feel, that every sketch must turn out good! I start to stress on my worst drawing days. I can’t let that tension build up in me, because it only makes me draw even worse. I need to keep reminding myself of how mistakes are a natural thing and just keep at it, without stressing over it.

“Why should I write something that millions of people already wrote about?”

Why not? Millions wrote about and millions more will write about it! The same thing can be written differently, which some ways work best for some people than others. There are just so many ways of telling a story and each one reaches different people.

“I’m not a specialist to write about a certain subject.”

So what? So many people out there do it! Plus, I’m not claiming to be an expert on whatever subject I write about. I just need to let go of my insecurity! I can write about whatever I want and express my opinions publicly! Not everyone needs to agree, and I certainly don’t expect that. But some others will and those are the ones that count.

Ah, yes! I’m feeling purged!

I like working with metals and making jewelry out of it. But then, lately, I feel like the end result is just something superficial and materialist! I don’t want to work everyday on something that leaves me feeling guilty for not be doing something more meaningful.

While searching for meaning in this, I could view it as a gift that will be memorable for someone. But that doesn’t really push my buttons.
Or maybe that, it’s a piece that will make someone else feel good about themselves, or beautiful while wearing it. But I kinda shrug to this.
It’s not that these aren’t valid reasons. They are! It’s just not what drives me.

How can I do this, if I myself don’t understand the “why wear it” in the first place (beyond vanity)? I guess, sometimes, I need everything to have a deep meaning…