Sometimes we clearly see what the message is and feel almost as if enlightened by what this person brought to us.

And sometimes, people might show us something that tempt us away from whatever is present in our lives. Some people might interpret it as a test. But I believe it is meant to bring us awareness. It’s not a test in the sense that we must overcome that temptation at all costs. Kinda like “The Devil is tempting you”, no.

We need to understand why we were tempted in the first place. Maybe that tells us that something isn’t quite right in our lives the way we thought it was, or we wouldn’t even be tempted by it. It is a moment to realize where we stand and if we truly are where we wish to be. Or, did we take a detour, got lost along the way and forgot about it because we simply got comfortable where we are now?

Some people come into our lives to wake us up, by showing us something that we were aiming for, or something that we want or need and is currently missing but never fully realized it. It doesn’t necessarily mean that this person is the one holding our answers or the one that will lead us to the right path. You might never even see them again.

You choose what path to take. You might conclude that, all things considered, you prefer to stay in your current situation than to risk leaving it to pursue something else.

Just make sure you don’t seattle for less than you deserve because you’re comfortable. I believe situations occur to push and remind us of the direction we want to be heading for. It can dig up a need you ignored and push you into giving it the thought it deserves.

You discover yourself and keep on evolving!

Ignoring such triggers can cost us precious time. I know that it cost me!

WTF?! When harassed, who doesn’t just love to hear this gem from someone close to them: “Maybe you did something to provoke it.”?!

NO! FUCK NO! Do I really need to shout out loud how wrong this is?! Really? The sad thing is, this is more common than we ‘d like to admit.

The sick mentality that the vagina is always the one to blame MUST END! Vaginas don’t need to provoke to be harassed or victimized!!

If a woman’s to blame for being harassed on the way she looks, well then, why don’t we implement the mandatory use of burkas as well?! NO! because that doesn’t solve the damn problem!

Why not?! Because it’s not a woman’s fault if someone can’t control themselves!

“The vagina made me do it!”, cause you know, women have that hypnotic power that cause men to do whatever she wants, including raping and brutalizing her! Of course! It’s every girl dream! Isn’t it??

If a guy has his shirt off and a girl is all over him she’s the slut. If a girl

Mainstream seems to in some sort of way to idolize men-whores, “oh he’s such a stud” or “oh, he’s such a MAN” (ew)! Girls, are just depreciative sluts and whores. WHY?! Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?? Either we call everyone a dirty whore, woman or man, or we admire and swoon over all of them regardless of gender. Am I the only one to think this is fair?

How can people fight for equality and still judge based on these archaic standards?!

I’m revolted.

(credit: photo by weglet)

People we feel we can let our guard down without fear of being taken advantage of.

People who stand by us no matter what, even when they don’t understand it.

Friends so similar to us that are a part of us already. People who seem like an extension of ourselves.

Those who make us who we are, because we can be who we truly are with them.

Those who show themselves to us. And those to whom we represent the same.

The people that put a genuine smile on our faces.

There’re no walls between us. We hide behind no mask.

Our souls are wide open, desperate to connect.

We get to know each others’ core.

We build a bridge between us.

It takes courage to show vulnerability, even though it’s usually accidental.

It takes strength to, when in need, reach out to others.

What if we detached ourselves from our chores and obligations. What if we look at life as we look at a tv show? What if we wake up in the morning, or better yet, go to sleep wondering and looking forward to what will happen the next day.

Each day is an episode. Some episodes turn out to be rather boring and uninteresting, while some are worthwhile the time. Each day is a new episode.

What if just like a tv show, after so many crappy episodes we give up watching. We move on to the next tv show.

Each area of our live can be a tv show. Family, school, work, hobby, social events, each one is a separate tv show. Each one has it’s characters. The only common element is ourselves.

What happens when all these show suck? We stop watching and search for another one! If nothing satisfies you, you create a new set and join a new cast!

It’s a new year all over gain. It’s the beginning of one more cycle of our continuity.

Resolutions aside, what’s the best way of starting it? Dates and events will be repeated, seasons will replay and we’re still the same. It’s up to ourselves to provoke change where it want it. Little adjustments to our attitude might go a long way.

The new year can be exciting if you look at it as new opportunities that will rise where you can to shine through. Or it can be a dreadful feeling of deja vu where you expect nothing new to come of it and feel trapped in a loop.

Like someone once told me, we need only to resign ourselves of the past. You only can’t change what has already passed. Everything else deserves a fighting change. Don’t limit yourself. Don’t resign yourself to an endless loop.

All your power lies in your attitude. The way you face the world around you is more powerful than might you think. It affects everything. You change the way you see yourself, the way you deal with others change, the way others respond to you changes, opportunities change.

At first it might hard to shift to a more positive approach. Just remember, whatever your insecurities are, others have them too. Everybody is flawed. It all comes down to how we deal with it and if we let it overpower us. Everyone has value, so let others see you.

Don’t be afraid and embrace who you are. Polish your positive side and don’t obsess over the negative. Focus on what you want and how you’ll get it instead on what you can’t have!

Have a great year!

When we are kids everything seems fairly simple, innocently simple, and the world has very little shades of gray. As we grow up we tend to complicate, we create a great variety of shades in most matters.

It’s refreshing to be around kids and see the world in that light again. Personally, being around (so called) adults for a while becomes rather draining and tedious.

Ever since I went back to karate and started to deal with kids and teenagers even, I slowly rediscovered children’s simple points of view.

Take yourself back in time to when you’re a little kid. What did you enjoyed doing the most? What were your favorite things? What would you answer be to your problems of today? Who did you want to become? Who did you look up to and why?

It’s easy to get caught up in the big web of adult thinking, where we take into account many external factors. Which it’s rather pointless most of the time, but we think it matters so!

I think we develop an unnecessary tendency to we overcomplicate as we grow up. Not everything may be as simple as it was when we were children, but we certainly get a taste for complicating things.

We also get so wrapped up in being adults sometimes and quickly dismiss any childish activities.

We tend to stir away from doing simple things if they serve no direct or productive purpose. We become obsessed with productivity and ignore the small things that used to bring us joy.

Why not waste some time just looking at something simply because it’s beautiful?

I bet most of us have had days when we critically analyze many of our actions and it’s consequences. Or worried about the numerous different outcomes according to our actions or words. Run through our head a bunch of simulations of what might happen or how someone might take it.

We wonder, should I say it? Should I do it? What’s the best approach to this? Will this work better? Maybe another way is better? And so on and so forth.

This is our tactics! Either we’re successful or not, we try to carefully plan our move to achieve the best outcome.

The other day I was really tired of over thinking so many moves and that’s when it all started to feel like a game. We even have manuals!

Either it is online or on bookshelves, there’s a million words written how we can improve ourselves, our skills, our attitude, our earnings, our success, our lifestyle, and anything else you can think of.

And it is just like when we are stuck in a game and go online looking for some cheats or tricks and tips on how to move on to the next stage.

There are the strategic players and even the casual or spontaneous players, those who just randomly push some buttons. There are those who just want to get to the end fast failing to collect, on purpose, any excess bonus points, and those who take the extra time to find them all.

So, life is a game we play. We need to get through several stages and levels as we progress thought life, earning and loosing points.

And sometimes we’re motivated with this game, while other’s we’re just trying to finish and see the end of it.

Sometimes we need a break from the game, to lighten our head, have a rest and get our energy or motivation flowing again.

Sometimes we are so engaged in the game that we take it too seriously. We focus too much on the goals we need to accomplish and we forget to enjoy the whole experience of the game.

Let’s take our time and admire the whole package.

Awhile back there’s was a new classmate in my school who happened to from my hometown (rare thing). We started chatting, just really trying to know a little bit more about each other, and in the middle of it I asked her how old she was. She did tell me her age but she also said “I don’t think people’s age is a relevant thing to know”. At the time I just thought “I wasn’t going to discriminate you by your age”, but then I started to wonder, why did I ask about age? Why would that matter, or what would that reveal to me?

Just plain curiosity doesn’t quite answers it.

Age can be a point in common. If our age isn’t too far apart we can find common points in childhood memories, a childhood hero an important event or something else from that era. It gives you a lot of topics to explore with this person, specially when you’re getting to know one another. It can give you a faint idea of their background. Even when it’s someone who’s age is farther from ours, it still pin points an era which we might know something about, or not. It can sparkle questions.

Other than that, how relevant is it?

Will age hint on someone’s maturity? Absolutely no! There are kids whom can be more mature than some adults. Just because there’s a social expectation of a maturity level in accordance with certain ages, it doesn’t make it true.

When we are teenagers we think that we will change and become adults as we turn a certain age. Not so much turning 18, but I see the most reluctance about turning 20 or 21. That’s when we officially leave our teens behind and enter a whole new decade. The 20′ies it’s supposed to be when you get a job, move out, get married, and so on. But the year we were born doesn’t determine much, our personality does.

A lot of younger girls I see look older than me because they behave a certain way, and vice-versa. Even thought we associate these things with age, it’s has more to d with attitude and personality than age.

Sometimes these things can get to our head. I know it got to me when I turned 24 earlier this year. Where I thought I was supposed to be and where I actually was, were very different. And I was going crazy about it, feeling bad and a bit of a loser!

But that was ridiculous. Age shouldn’t matter, just like gender, ethnicity or whatever! We each have our own path, we aren’t supposed to be all serialized in the same stages at the same time.

Everyone always prejudges, that’s what first impressions are. But how accurate can these be when they’re mostly based on preconceptions and stereotyping? How often is it convenient for us to not question them?

I’m not going to talk about the big issues here, such as racism, xenophobia, homophobia and so on. No. I want to address something smaller that is often neglected, but just as important.

The other day I was once more commuting to school on the ferry, and something happened.

I was sitting there and I saw a man in a really casual and relaxed outfit, “vacation wear”. He had a laptop with him and was talking business on the cellphone. I related myself to that man in some kind of level, thinking how cool that he was so informal, and I wish that to myself. (I wont get into much detail on where he might have been going, because from here to Lisbon with no luggage and just a laptop, it’s mostly like work.)

So far so good, right? I related to it and thought it was awesome.

But then, I looked down to his shoes! I’ve always hated that type of shoe and what it is usually associated with. And the immediate thought was of complete rejection now! “You and I are nothing alike”, came to mind! And so, it hit me!

I just let a stereotype take huge proportions into a kind of prejudice, and it affected my first judgment of this man. How ridiculous!

And I started to wonder how many times we let this happen. How often do we let small things become such major factors on a first impression?

We all have different perceptions of the same things. We perceive different meanings or connotations for the same objects, ideas, and sometimes even words.

And the truth is, I never thought any less of anyone based on their status or social class, so I kinda felt immune to all the prejudging crap. But even though it wasn’t in the same nuance as most people, I do it as well in some level, I’m not immune.

I was amazed, how shoes being such an innocent thing to consider could take such an exaggerated proportion! It’s rather irrational. It’s like analyzing evidences out of context. We don’t know anything about the circumstances, we are looking at only a fragment of this person, and yet we are quick to judge. We make assumptions and are inclined to believe them, not give it the benefit of the doubt.

Imperfection.

Perfection is meaningless without imperfection.

Imperfection makes us beautiful and unique. We have been perfectly mechanically made, and imperfections is what distinguishes us.

Perfection is a fantasy, simply unattainable and that’s what makes it so desirable. The imperfect is the unexpected feature that stands out in the middle of perfection. This imperfection gives us a sense of reality and possibility.

Today, we are just overwhelmed with the idea of perfection everywhere we turn. Over the top and most inhuman ideals about ourselves and those around us. We are bombed by social unrealistic ideals. Why?

It’s beautiful to appreciate those little imperfections that make us all human. It’s beautiful to fall in love with imperfections.

“Why should I write something that millions of people already wrote about?”

Why not? Millions wrote about and millions more will write about it! The same thing can be written differently, which some ways work best for some people than others. There are just so many ways of telling a story and each one reaches different people.

“I’m not a specialist to write about a certain subject.”

So what? So many people out there do it! Plus, I’m not claiming to be an expert on whatever subject I write about. I just need to let go of my insecurity! I can write about whatever I want and express my opinions publicly! Not everyone needs to agree, and I certainly don’t expect that. But some others will and those are the ones that count.

Ah, yes! I’m feeling purged!